That moment when your "would you like to grab a cup of coffee sometime" gets rejected:
Last semester, I met a girl at the registrar office. We were both in line, waiting to get some documents signed, or whatever. I can’t quite remember. All I know is that I was working on _my Game_ as the kids started calling it.
No one ever taught me the fine art of pulling a conversation out of my ass when there was a pretty girl in line. As a man I always felt I was on!
My duty to be _manly_ and successfully woo a woman was a constant reminder in all life’s situations.
“You don’t pick up girls here,” society told me.
But that only left bars and clubs, and I freaking hated alcohol and secondhand smoke.
I thought, hey, romance can happen at any time. If my eyes are open, I can seize the day, fall in love, do the manly duty of procreating, and live happily ever after, die, bye-bye Earth, twinkle in the sky, I fulfilled my biological imperative, hurrah, hurrah, that girl standing in line sure is damn CUTE!!!!
“Excuse me?”
“Yes,” she says with a slight southern accent, almost like a damsel to a rich Kentucky governor.
“Is this the line to the registrar?”
“Why I do declare it is, partner,” the colonel daughter’s indeed!
“Great, are you about to finish college too?”
“FINISH?” She flipped her blonde hair by snapping her wrist. “Honey-plum, I just started!”
Honey-plum? “Oh, that sucks. I have three semesters left and then I’m FREE!”
“How exciting. How I long to be free. Roam the country roads, going everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. The cows mooing tell me it’s time to go home, only I have abandoned home for adventure.”
Damn, this girl is intense! “What’s your department?”
“Mining department...”
“GET OUT! That's my department too!" Suddenly, she lost her southern touch and gosh she's from the central.
Fire caught on the yule log of mutual interest. The line evaporated instantly, soon it would be her turn, not wanting to end our conversation I realized this is one of those romantic moments!
Awkwardly my body shook, my hands oozed bloody sweat, and by the grace of God, I somehow squeaked out a, “Hey… do..do… do you want to go get a cup of coffee sometime and continue our chat?”
BOOM-BOOM, my heart banged against my chest. She stared, smiled, and said, “But, darling, I don’t drink coffee.”
Defeated but not surrendered, I rejoined, “Then do you want to go drink water with me?”
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAATER? What the hell was I talking, really Zed?!?!?!
“Ahh..…, sure.” she hesitates but finally
gave me her number...Hannah is her name!
All's well that ends well. I did it! I got a girl’s number!
A day passed, I invited her to a break dancing class, with the promise of water afterwards.
BEEP! BEEP!
Oh, it’s her text message.
Water Girl: Sorry Zed, you took me by surprise asking me out; I didn’t know how to respond. I’m not really looking to date anyone right now because I want to focus on my studies. Good luck in finding a girl to drink water with. Thnkz anyway!
Oh, “I don’t drink coffee,” was the code. She really meant to say, “I don’t have time for dates.”
AWKwarrrrrrrrrrd!
If she liked me she would have said yes to coffee. Everyone knows coffee shops sell more than just caffeinated beverages plus kuna mango juice pia!Thanks for reading!
Last semester, I met a girl at the registrar office. We were both in line, waiting to get some documents signed, or whatever. I can’t quite remember. All I know is that I was working on _my Game_ as the kids started calling it.
No one ever taught me the fine art of pulling a conversation out of my ass when there was a pretty girl in line. As a man I always felt I was on!
My duty to be _manly_ and successfully woo a woman was a constant reminder in all life’s situations.
“You don’t pick up girls here,” society told me.
But that only left bars and clubs, and I freaking hated alcohol and secondhand smoke.
I thought, hey, romance can happen at any time. If my eyes are open, I can seize the day, fall in love, do the manly duty of procreating, and live happily ever after, die, bye-bye Earth, twinkle in the sky, I fulfilled my biological imperative, hurrah, hurrah, that girl standing in line sure is damn CUTE!!!!
“Excuse me?”
“Yes,” she says with a slight southern accent, almost like a damsel to a rich Kentucky governor.
“Is this the line to the registrar?”
“Why I do declare it is, partner,” the colonel daughter’s indeed!
“Great, are you about to finish college too?”
“FINISH?” She flipped her blonde hair by snapping her wrist. “Honey-plum, I just started!”
Honey-plum? “Oh, that sucks. I have three semesters left and then I’m FREE!”
“How exciting. How I long to be free. Roam the country roads, going everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. The cows mooing tell me it’s time to go home, only I have abandoned home for adventure.”
Damn, this girl is intense! “What’s your department?”
“Mining department...”
“GET OUT! That's my department too!" Suddenly, she lost her southern touch and gosh she's from the central.
Fire caught on the yule log of mutual interest. The line evaporated instantly, soon it would be her turn, not wanting to end our conversation I realized this is one of those romantic moments!
Awkwardly my body shook, my hands oozed bloody sweat, and by the grace of God, I somehow squeaked out a, “Hey… do..do… do you want to go get a cup of coffee sometime and continue our chat?”
BOOM-BOOM, my heart banged against my chest. She stared, smiled, and said, “But, darling, I don’t drink coffee.”
Defeated but not surrendered, I rejoined, “Then do you want to go drink water with me?”
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAATER? What the hell was I talking, really Zed?!?!?!
“Ahh..…, sure.” she hesitates but finally
gave me her number...Hannah is her name!
All's well that ends well. I did it! I got a girl’s number!
A day passed, I invited her to a break dancing class, with the promise of water afterwards.
BEEP! BEEP!
Oh, it’s her text message.
Water Girl: Sorry Zed, you took me by surprise asking me out; I didn’t know how to respond. I’m not really looking to date anyone right now because I want to focus on my studies. Good luck in finding a girl to drink water with. Thnkz anyway!
Oh, “I don’t drink coffee,” was the code. She really meant to say, “I don’t have time for dates.”
AWKwarrrrrrrrrrd!
If she liked me she would have said yes to coffee. Everyone knows coffee shops sell more than just caffeinated beverages plus kuna mango juice pia!Thanks for reading!
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