The V-Day

The greatest happiness in this life is to love and be loved. 
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. 
Valentine’s Day can be a lovely occasion to treat a partner to dinner, exchange silly cards or receive that long-awaited annual box of chocolates. But for the heartbroken or single who put stock in the date, it can also be a sore reminder of loneliness, failed relationships and lost loved ones. 
Today, I am here for the sake of the single folks or the heartbroken sons and daughters of of mankind. The below activities can significantly help you overcome the V-Day loneliness: 

• Remind yourself it’s just another day. 

Sometimes you have to take the emotional value out of the date. You are the same person you were Feb. 13 or Feb. 15, it’s really about self talk, it’s about saying to yourself, ‘This is just a Thursday, this date has been created to represent couples in love, and I’m still a good, solid person with or without this chance.

• Acknowledge that you’re upset/lonely.

Trying to fight off the feeling that you’re angry or sad or whatever usually doesn’t work, You realize you can be really upset about the v-day but do  not let that feeling overwhelm me. It's okay to have those feelings. And you can choose to think a little bit rationally about them.

• Plan ahead and know your triggers. 

If you can’t find plans with somebody else, then you should plan on doing something you like to do --order in your favorite dinner, watch a new series/movie, grab a great book. Plan to do something so that you’re busy and not sitting. Sitting makes you think, and overthink. 

• If you’re grieving the loss of a significant one. 

You certainly can take that day to allow yourself have some memories about your loved one. Eat a food that you two used to eat together, look at those photos, listen to her/his audio records and let yourself cry if you feel the urge to. Honor that relationship with that person even though they’re gone. Avoid irresponsible drinking: Alcohol is a depressant, and so even though in the moment you think it is making you feel better, tomorrow you will actually feel worse. Try to reach out to friends and family to make plans for the evening. You'd be surprised at how many people would embrace that. On the flipsideflipside, if you do know somebody that lost a loved one pliz reach out to them, comfort him/her, invite them for a dinner/drink etc.

• Go on a self-improvement kick. 

If you are in a place where you are feeling down about things, then it’s always good to think about setting goals and reflecting on areas in the past that you need to improve on so that you can wake up on Feb. 15 and get started doing something that is more positive. If you don't  have plans yet V-Day is almost like a New Year’s resolution day, so make plans for urself.

• Be thankful. 

 Maybe you want to use Valentine’s Day to make a gratitude list and  celebrate all the things you can be grateful for. It just seems so silly to spend a whole day depressed about the one thing you don’t have when every other box might be checked.

• Don’t internalize romantic social media posts. 

The grass isn’t always greener, just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean that it’s a happy or healthy one. They have biggest issues, so for you the single or heartbroken you have less to tackle compared to couples.

• Do whatever you’d normally do. 

If you’re feeling particularly down, do what you'd have done in any other circumstance to make yourself feel better. And do that on the V-Day night as well, if you’re already anticipating it’s going to be a tough night. 

• Treat yourself. 

Plan a really nice evening for yourself. Take yourself on a date- Go see a movie you’ve wanted to see, go out to one of your favorite restaurants, nyama choma zone and eat dinner there. Or plan for a retreat. Do something to make yourself feel accomplished, powerful and successful. You can’t wait for somebody else to care for you more than you care for yourself.

• Spread some non-romantic love. 

The day doesn’t have to be about a romantic partner, you can show love for your parents, kids, friends, neighbours or even strangers. Take a bunch of valentines to a children’s home, help out at an animal shelter or take food to an elderly neighbor. It’s not all about receiving. You can give something too, it'll feed your soul way more than getting chocolates from somebody you might be dating. 

You're responsible for your happiness, do yourself a great time favour this 14th Feb. 
To all singles and the heartbroken out there you're are worthy of self love. 

Thanks for reading!